i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
