i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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