A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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