Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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