I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
