Define "chronic" masturbator.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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