you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize