This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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