It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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