Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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