been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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