at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
