you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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