I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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