Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
