I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
