My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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