i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
