Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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