I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
