I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dick very happy bro
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
