I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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