Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
