you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My dick has a subreddit
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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