I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
