Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
