That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
