I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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