the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize