we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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