Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
