porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
