Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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