Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
