We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
