Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
