so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize