So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I love you.
Bad choice
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