i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
