I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
