I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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