party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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