so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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