I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
