But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize