Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
