i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
