well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
