It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
