but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
