Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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