he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
