Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
