i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
