i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
do nipples grow back?
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