I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
