maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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