Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We have so much sex to catch up on
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
