guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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