These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
