took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
