we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
