The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
