Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize