I heard we made out
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize