i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
