I heard we made out
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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