is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
