we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
