Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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