i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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