What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
